Cognitive Dissonance

I am finding it hard to find the words this morning. I didn’t sleep well. As a young woman I really wanted to have children. Then I scaled back my ambition to just one child. Valiant, even heroic, lengths were taken for that to come to be. It didn’t happen. That deeply grieved me. But in my sixties I feel a kind of sad relief that I leave no progeny to face the cruelty and inhumanity in this world. Little would I have thought that thirty years on I would feel that emotion. My potential descendents have been spared. But I feel for those who remain. I love children. Even when they grow up. Even when ones I babysat as a weeks’ old infant and walked the floor for hours while they cried cannot spare compassion for incarcerated children fleeing God knows what. The heart breaks some though. We have so lost our way.

Cognitive Dissonance

outside the sun shines
birds continue their singing

inside I could weep

a child unborn

is valued more than the child

sat on your doorstep

we are accursed

as depraved a creation

as all our nightmares

I want to hex those

admitting no harm is done

to little children

left huddled in a nightmare

What does that say about me?
Copyright 2019 Bee Smith. all right reserved.