I am finding it hard to find the words this morning. I didn’t sleep well. As a young woman I really wanted to have children. Then I scaled back my ambition to just one child. Valiant, even heroic, lengths were taken for that to come to be. It didn’t happen. That deeply grieved me. But in my sixties I feel a kind of sad relief that I leave no progeny to face the cruelty and inhumanity in this world. Little would I have thought that thirty years on I would feel that emotion. My potential descendents have been spared. But I feel for those who remain. I love children. Even when they grow up. Even when ones I babysat as a weeks’ old infant and walked the floor for hours while they cried cannot spare compassion for incarcerated children fleeing God knows what. The heart breaks some though. We have so lost our way.
Cognitive Dissonance
outside the sun shines
birds continue their singing
inside I could weep
a child unborn
is valued more than the child
sat on your doorstep
we are accursed
as depraved a creation
as all our nightmares
I want to hex those
admitting no harm is done
to little children
left huddled in a nightmare
What does that say about me?
Copyright 2019 Bee Smith. all right reserved.
Sojourning Smith 
Well said, life itself is not concerned with quality but quantity hence no matter how good the environment/ parentingthere is always the risk a child may be predisposed to evil deeds.. there is no doubt the planet is in crisis some academics even believe it may be as soon as 2050 .. neither of us will be around for that thankfully.. you mention the cruelty and inhumanity in the world I saw it first hand when the troubles raged in Ulster… my hippy philosophy of love and peace was crushed by reality that life even nature is red of tooth and claw.. what your post says about you I believe is you too feel outraged by the atrocities in the world.. all any of us can do is in someway Make life more bearable for fellow travelers..
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Thank you for taking the time to read this and consider it. Interestingly, the past two days has seen a dip in post reads. I feel like there is a collective looking away. And all I want to say is “Look! See!”
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You are right about collective looking away the world reverberates with disharmony .. I believe people are paralysed by the enormity of the issues facing the world.. and no wonder it surely is a “ship of fools”
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Well said. I also fear for my own children and for everyone’s. Life will survive though. I’m sure of that at least. Life will survive and ultimately thrive even if humanity is destroyed. I’m still hopeful that we can right the ship in time. You might like this essay about how people can “paint themselves into a corner” psychologically. https://petersironwood.com/2019/07/18/essays-on-america-wednesday/
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